While the ‘ditto’ following Chris’ vows might have been funny to some, it wasn’t what I had really intended to say to him. I had actually written vows. Real vows. But I thought it would be silly of me to hold a piece of paper up during the ceremony, so I left it in the room thinking I would remember it all. I mean, logic told me all I had to do was look into Chris’ beautiful blue/green eyes and the words of love would all come streaming through me. Not.
Chris’ vows stunned me.
I don’t know why I was surprised, I knew they would. In fact, that was one of the reasons I knew I needed to prepare. I was marrying a poet. One who has an absolute amazing way with words on any old regular day – I knew he was going to shine on our wedding day. I thought I was ready. I thought I could hold it together. Then he pulled out two sheets of paper and I lost it. I mean, if Chris had to write his vows down to remember it all, I was in trouble. Deep, deep trouble.
So when he finished, all I could think of ‘ditto’. Of course, the minute that left my mouth, I realized I should try and recover. Try to pull the words back through me that I had wanted to say to him. Two minutes of pure babble then followed. I guess it was a good thing I didn’t have the microphone next to my mouth the entire time as the ocean was drowning out most of the silliness. But it was ok. I was looking into the face of love and love was smiling back on me. At least he already knew I was a dork.
So without further delay, here are my real vows.
Muffin. My love. My partner. My soul mate.
I must admit it is a little odd to be standing here, professing my love to you, wearing a white (ok, ivory) frock, as we wait for a judge to tell us we are man and wife. Odd because I feel like we are already married, that we made our commitment to one another long ago. So this is just a formality…and a rouse on your part to get me in a dress, but it is ok, because having that piece of paper now means we get to save 20% on our auto insurance.
There is an undeniable connection between us, and what I initially thought were mere coincidences, quickly turned into signs I had finally met my mate. My soul mate. I had finally found the male version of me, scary as that may be.
- We both have ‘Chris’ at the root of our names – Christopher and Christy (legal spelling until I changed it in 7th grade – yes, I was ahead of my time). I keep telling everyone I tried to fall in love with a Steve, but my heart caved for a Chris, so we will now forever be chrisandkristie.com.
- You have a cat named Ele, my cat’s name was Ellie.
- You and I had the same exact set of silverware. Oneida’s Sandstone. Not a real popular style. I bought this set over eight years ago and you had the same exact set so when we merged our households, this was a very big bonus for me as you know how much I like things that match.
- When we met, I was living in 94404 while you were living in 94044 and we now live in 94114. Just a neat numbers thing.
- We both own maroon vehicles. Not red, maroon. Almost freaky, isn’t it?
Christopher, I stand here today and promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to help you spend our money, and also to manage our debt. I promise to cherish you, to respect you.
You are the yin to my yang. The root of me. I love you.
- I love that you point out the cracks in the sidewalk so I won’t trip and hurt myself (as you know I would).
- I love when you do the ‘Miami’ dance.
- I love the fact you think the bright yellow shirt with orange flowers goes nicely with the red corduroy pants.
- I love that you will still curl up with me on the couch even three hours after I have had red meat.
- I love that you are a man who understands, and sometimes feeds, my Coach purse addiction.
- I love your smile and how it warms my soul when it is directed at me.
- I love that when I call you muffin, you call me scone.
- I love that you take better care of my knees than I do.
- I love that you are patient and supportive even when I keep taking the baseball swing on the golf course.
- I love that you kick my ass in Scrabble every single time, but don’t gloat (well, not too much).
- I love that you got your back waxed for me as you know it makes me happy.
- I love that you challenge me. I may not love it at the time, but afterwards, when I realize you were right, I love that.
Mostly, I love the love you have for me, and I promise to spend the rest of my life loving you, completely.